You can’t complain your way out of a bad situation.

While it is easy to complain, it doesn’t get you out of that bad situation.

It just keeps you stuck there and makes you feel worse.

If you find yourself complaining about someone or a situation at work or at home here are two strategies to help you move forward.

1. Focus on what you can control.

- No matter how much we wish the other person or circumstance would change, you can’t change other people or outside circumstances.
- Instead focus on the things you can control like your thoughts, perspective, and actions.
- This allows you to see a new way forward instead of dwelling on things you can’t change.

For example, a leader I’m coaching was complaining about a direct report that gets defensive when they receive feedback. My client was frustrated and was not sure how to move forward. My client shifted her perspective from “This person should listen to my feedback” to “How does this person want to improve?” With this new perspective my client did not push her agenda on the direct report but instead let the direct report identify how they want to improve.

2. Look for the lesson.

- Ask yourself “What is this moment/situation/person teaching me?” “What lesson am I meant to learn and apply?”
- This question helps you focus on what you can gain from this bad situation. You look for the opportunity in the challenge.

I was feeling disempowered in one of my personal relationships. I was complaining and blaming the other person for my lack of performance.
When I asked myself these questions, I saw the lesson as an opportunity for me to take more ownership and responsibility to improve the situation.
They were my teacher in this situation and I felt more open and empowered to change my approach.

Use these two strategies to empower yourself to make the best of a bad situation.